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  • Writer's pictureTamara S. Graham

Entanglement explained as an HSP

Updated: Jan 15, 2021

I watched the documentary "Heal" on Netflix for the fourth time last night and every time I experience it, I discover another piece that I needed to hear from the perspective of where I am in my life at the time. Some of my favorite authors and healers are featured so it's like coming home to see them all again. Gregg Braden*, author of many fascinating books including The Spontaneous Healing of Belief, talks about "quantum entanglement" between energy that was once a whole and now split into parts. Energy that began together is forever entangled and a part of each other no matter how far apart. Since we are all energy of the collective universe, we are all connected.

This really resonates with me much deeper now that I have realized that I am a highly sensitive person (HSP) and so are my grown children. I began to ponder the fact that HSP's feel entanglement much stronger than other people. What most people once dismissed as a rare instance of extra sensory perception (ESP) is really experienced daily and much more magnified in all areas of life for an HSP. Perhaps, this gift of sensitivity is the ability to connect people with caring, non-judgement and unconditional love. The world needs more sensitivity and I believe more and more babies are being born as HSP's to shake up and shift the human experience.

Me entangled with an amazing tree in Beverly Hills, CA


I have always had a deep intuition when it comes to my family members and I believe that is a gift that goes back generations. There were times when I had wished my mother had not been so entangled with me, and other times when I was so disappointed that she didn't "know" something that to me was so obvious. I remember two occasions as a child that my mother heard an ambulance's siren and literally dropped what she was doing and ran out of the house. At the time we were living in the middle of a Chicago suburb so there were plenty of sirens. Somehow she knew - instinctively - that my brother had been hit by a car... both times! Call it intuition, entanglement, or hyper-sensitivity - she just knew.

Now, as a mother myself, I understand it much better than I did back then. As a child, I thought my mom had some amazing super powers when 9 times out of 10 she would predict who was at the other end of the ringing telephone. I think eventually her sensitivity had become too much for her and she turned to alcohol to self medicate and sunk into a depression so that she didn't have to cope. But, that is another story. I just knew from her example that I had to learn to appreciate my sensitivities in a way that I could cope, and attend to my own children with more awareness than my mother could muster.


I have also been fascinated by twins and their connections, even when they are separated and half way around the world. They are the perfect example of entanglement. By sharing DNA, they are forever connected. I envied that connection. Perhaps because I wished I had my own identical twin to share life with since no one else was like me. I was envious of my childhood best friend's twin sisters who were so much like each other. I longed for someone to understand me and mirror my thoughts and emotions. Now that I have found an HSP community through social media support, I feel like we are all twin souls with similar experiences and I enjoy being entangled with them.


We as humans can learn a lot from tree families. As the roots of a tree grow towards it's neighbors, they create a family system. I am in awe of their natural, beautiful entanglement - allowing them to gain shared strength and knowledge. Trees stay connected on the deepest level, feeling each others signals of danger and location of nutrients. A scientific confirmation of what we cannot see above ground, and what we should aspire to amongst our own human family and neighbors. Their branches also seem to be reaching out and embracing the world, symbolically inviting us to do the same. It seems our society is more identified with flowers, standing alone - curling into ourselves when it gets dark and only opening under specific safe, sunny conditions. Flowers are short term beauties, but to survive the long haul we need to be more like trees. Perhaps a flowering tree should be our mentor. It thrives from entanglement and may even produce fruit to share. Shouldn't that be our life's goal?

I have always admired trees because of their tremendous strength while still remaining flexible. Their energetic wisdom and ability to reset us as humans can't be understated. I feel most alive when I am touching a tree, as if I am getting an incredible download of healing and knowledge.

It was a highlight of my life and an incredible moment of awe when I got to see the huge banyan tree that resides in Lahaina on the island of Maui. Not only because it was my 50th birthday trip after 10 years of manifesting with my vision board, but also because I got to witness such a beautiful tree! Banyan trees send out shoots to start another "baby" tree while staying connected above ground. It is a visual masterpiece to symbolically display what life is all about, while embracing each other's limbs - holding hands. This tree family grew to take up a whole city block, and Lahaina built a park underneath it's nurturing arms. I cannot describe how wonderful it felt to be totally enveloped by such a gorgeous phenomenon that was planted in 1873.

Banyan Tree, Lahaina, Maui - all of the trunks and branches are connected!

Banyan tree takes over city block as seen from above, Lahaina, Hawaii


I find I can be entangled with homes, and I have to remember that. I have always had nightmares about my rented childhood home. In my dreams it was either being destroyed or I was trying to purchase it so I could remodel it and somehow change it's history. I live almost 2,000 miles away from it now, but a few years ago somehow I sensed it was gone. A visit to my hometown later validated those feelings when I saw that it not only was torn down, but a huge apartment complex was built in it's place, literally burying all of those memories so they would not haunt me any longer. R.I.P.

After my divorce in 2010, my ex and I settled on a price that our shared home was worth so he could buy me out and keep that 3rd house that we had remodeled together. I wanted to move across country so it seemed like a perfect solution. We had lived there as a family with our 2 children for about 15 years. I was a bit heartbroken almost a year ago when I saw that he had put it up for sale. He and his new wife had purchased another home together and most likely wanted a fresh start. There were reminders of my decorative flair all over that house. I especially was proud of the kitchen I designed and we had built together, sharing sweat and tears for a common, beautiful goal.

I had been watching the real estate listing on Zillow about once a month to see how it was doing price-wise and admiring the refreshingly empty interior photos of this beautiful home that we had created. It wasn't until about 2 months ago that I realized that I may be a bit too entangled with that house. I didn't want to live in it again, but I did feel nostalgic for the time we had raised our kids there and hoped they would be able to continue to visit their father and relive their childhood in that way.

As the price kept getting reduced and closer to our settled price, I began to realize that part of me had been a bit envious that he had listed it at a much higher price than we had settled on during the divorce. Logically, my head knew it had been 9 years so it was more valuable now, but my heart was subconsciously holding tight to those heartstrings that connected me to it.

I decided to do some letting go exercises and release my emotional ties since I was now aware of this connection. I imagined cutting the energetic threads that were still holding a part of me back there. I was grateful for the years I spent there, and acknowledged that I am happy where I live now in California. I wished for the sale of the house to release any residual resentment that my ex may hold for me for doing what was best for me by leaving. I sent love to the future new owners and hoped they would enjoy all of the improvements we had made. I released it and forgot about it.

I recently looked at the listing one last time, and it shows there is an offer for it's sale! My letting go may have paved the way for a clean sale with no emotional baggage. I feel very good about that. I'm no longer entangled with that house.


The world wide web isn't just a technological internet connection, it is also a great description of the human connections we have. We all have tiny entanglements of heartstrings that connect us to people, places and things. Sometimes we need to recognize that these tiny webs of string can grow into heavy ropes that may hold us back.

I think choosing to be around positive people and environments that feed us - instead of draining us - is a choice that everyone should make, but especially HSP's. If every soul that we are in contact with leaves an imprint - or a connecting thread, then we should be careful of who we spend the most time with. It's ok, and quite necessary to reassess relationships for your own emotional health.

I wish you love, acceptance and wonderfully shimmering heartstrings on your path!


*Learn More:

The Highly Sensitive Person by Dr. Elaine Aron

Tami is grateful for all of her Highly Sensitive Person traits because they have made her who she is today: an optimistic, nurturing soul, full of great compassion. Being a mother has been her hardest and most rewarding job since her unique and sensitive children have been her greatest inspiration and teachers. She is currently writing a series of children’s books for HSP families, The Sunshine Books. Follow this link for more of her heartfelt ponderings about highly sensitive people. Or sign-up above for her weekly emails as she continues writing for you.

{Copyright 2019 - 2021 - Most photos are the property of Tamara S. Graham unless noted otherwise}

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