• Tamara S. Graham

Mirror Work - Eyes can be a portal to your heart & the past

What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you pick apart the features you may think aren't perfect? Do you see the laugh lines of a life well-lived? Do your eyes sparkle with your inner child's heart showing? Or, perhaps, like me you see past generations looking back at you? Is it really just you that you see looking back at you? I see a treasure trove of all the DNA of the lives before me. I see my own heart reflected along with it's current emotions. Sometimes those are all too much for me to want to see. Mirrors can be intense for me.



As a child and most of my adult life I had trouble making eye contact with most people. I was more of an observer than a participant in social situations, and perhaps if I made eye contact others would try to engage me in the activity or conversations. People began to read my inability to look at others as a shyness or worse, being stuck-up! The truth is that I usually felt a bit uncomfortable and unwilling to look too deeply. Partially because my empathic abilities would give me more information than I often wanted to know, and also because someone might see that deeply into me! Was I ready for anyone to really know me? Usually, not.


During my adult years of self-discovery and self-healing, I learned that it can be therapeutic to really look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself the love you may not have gotten as a child. Louise Hay, author of You Can Heal Your Life says, "Mirror work is one of the most loving gifts you can give yourself." I decided to try it, since I yearned to find my true self any way that I could.


I found it fascinating that while doing mirror work on healing my inner child I realized each of my eyes represents half of my own DNA. One side is more like my mother, and the other is my father.



After I had this ah-ha moment, I wanted to visually be able to demonstrate this new insight, in hopes of explaining what I had experienced. I had my photographer daughter edit a photo of me as an experiment. She took my picture and split it down the middle and mirrored each side. So the half of my left side got mirrored to become a whole face with only the left sides' features. Then she did the same with the right side. I was blown away at the results! One side was clearly my mom's side of the family, and the other looked just like my dad's side of the family! It helped show why this had catapulted me much deeper into the mirror work I was doing.

Right side mirrored - original me - left side mirrored

As I cautiously approached the mirror, I felt uncomfortable and wasn't sure I was ready, but I said, “I love you," anyway. At first it felt kind of silly, like a cheesy movie. Then after repeating it a few times, the uneasiness began to subside. In the past, I typically had trouble looking at my own face in the mirror for very long, and staring into my own eyes was almost impossible for me.


I felt like it was hard to “love” the person I saw looking back. It was not “me” and it was too hard. Even though I got emotional and would say the words, “I love you,” I wasn’t really able to feel them. I had wished that I had heard them more as a child, and that inner disappointment left me disconnected. I assumed that is where the tears came from.


My right eye has the most trouble with vision just like my mother's had, and at this very moment it seemed to actually be my deceased mom looking back at me. I decided to dig deeper and do some eye work on forgiving my mom and loving her, and my pupils responded in a type of love language. As I continued, the emotional and physical responses to me saying, "I love you," to myself and to my mother were very telling, and very healing.


Mom, Billie age 31, me age 13 - even our ages are mirrored!

I realized that my inner child was craving for someone to say, "I understand that all you needed was a hug and to be heard....I love you.” So, I said it to myself and my pupils dilated larger as if they were a giddy child and I was mothering her. I began to realize that one eye responded differently than the other. My father's side would have to wait for another day. I wasn't strong enough to go deeper on that side of my past just yet. Someday, I will be.


My reflection looks just like my grandma!

Through these eye “portals”, I saw that there are generations of love in there. It was a wonderful realization to feel that kind of love go deep into my soul and surprisingly it also seemed to come from within me. I felt appreciated, adored, and very loved. It was the most beautiful experience. Now I look in the mirror and see a sparkle of my inner child looking back at me and it makes me smile! I love her!



Sometimes, I even feel like I see a mama lion fiercely protecting my cubs and inner cub!


My eyes as a lion. Photo edit by Tiara Lavitt

I encourage you all to look deeply into your own mirror and see what awaits you! You can do it!



About Tamara S. Graham

Tami is grateful for all of her Highly Sensitive Person traits because they have made her who she is today: an optimistic, nurturing soul, full of great compassion. Being a mother has been her hardest and most rewarding job since her unique and sensitive children have been her greatest inspiration and teachers. She is currently writing a series of children’s books for HSP families.


{Copyright 2020 - Most photos are the property of Tamara S. Graham unless noted otherwise}

Copyright © 2019 - 2020 Tamara S. Graham. All rights reserved.